Goodbye Korea! 

A quick letter to Gyeongju:

Dear Gyeongju,

I'm leaving you today.  After eleven months of ups, downs, smiles, and frowns, it is now time to bid adieu to my beloved Silla Central and the school it hosts.  Gyeongju,  I had planned a grand sentimental farewell tour for us.  I was going to strut down your wide avenues in a ca-razay blue French peasant blouse that I bought in one of your boutiques during a mid-grant crisis.  I would also be sporting my huge bug sunglasses and a colorful assortment of sparkling nail polish on my fingernails.  All provided by you!  What a tour this would have been!  Pictures, laughter, and stares!  You in your summer-wear, me pretending to be Parisian!  We could have been the toast of Gyeongbuk.

But then, my dear Gyeongju, I had no time for this tour as I spent the last month or so away, distracted by some things and some one.  It wasn't anything you did, my sweet Silla Queen!  You've only been wonderful and accommodating to me.   In fact, among the many aspects of my Grant Year--my school, my students, my home stay, my co-hort, etc--you were the ONLY thing that I could never complain about.  What negative things could someone say about Gyeongju?  Too many flowers?  Too many national treasures?  Too many beautiful parks and landscaped fields?  As I've said before this year on numerous occasions, "I don't think so."

And then there's my school, lovely Gyeongju.  You host the cute and thoughtful students who swarmed downtown and made anonymity impossible.  I love that you provide a playground for them--and even though they all complain about how you are so boring and 시골, I know they need and love you. 

Today I will pack (ahhh!! "WILL") my bags and head for the 닭갈비 hills of the North.  This is only a stressful experience--nothing like my peaceful and pleasant sojourn here.  After that, it will be a return to bland Connecticut and my arrival in Gotham.  I wish I could have left you with a grand and relaxed departure, but alas--it is now 7:24 AM on Thursday morning, I am expected in Chuncheon by 1:00pm, and I have a giant suitcase sitting ajar next to me.  It is open because, despite various, mostly humiliating, efforts to close it, I have failed.  I'm also ca-razay because: -I don't have a copy of Annie, -I have generally been sleep deprived for the last two months, and -I shelled out soooooo much money for a hanbok I may never use. 

Gyeongju, though I am currently completely delirious and stressed,  I took 45 minutes to write this xanga letter to you.  You are one of the places I'll remember all my life.  Please don't change.  I will miss you dearly. 감사합니다, 사랑해요.

" Wedding photos on facebook give me the hives!!" --Jennifer Chang, futureMD

An update coming soon, I promise!

Today is Tuesday, 10 June 2008 and the exchange rate is $1USD to 1033.3 KRW.  Let it be known that as of today, I have officially given up on both the Korean and US markets--and will henceforth no longer be discouraged when I see an unfavorable exchange rate.  Instead, I will add it to the ever-growing list of disappointments for 2007-08--already including: the Election (sob!, but I'm okay, really), Mariah Carey's new CD, and assorted and multiple personal/professional failures.

One thing that *is* looking up is the weather!  Today we were up to a comfy 80F in downtown Gju--and now, at 8:30pm, it is a pleasant 72F.  If I were in Connecticut, I would be outside in my front yard, donning my housewife dress, and playing badminton with my mother.  Sometimes our matches go for hours, so our family places multi-colored citronella candles in cute tin buckets around our "court" to both light the lawn and to keep the insects away.  After our match, YH & I would go inside my house, drink lemonade, curl up with Chanel, and watch I Love Lucy.  A few hours later, we would retire our bedrooms--and I would take Chanel in my bed and try to force her to sleep next to me, she would refuse and huff at me.  So I would then take her to her room, spoon with Yves instead, and fall asleep listening to Jane Monheit or Erykah Badu, depending on my mood.  The next morning, I would wake up and eat a bagel with generous amounts of cream cheese, sip coffee, and read the sub-par Hartford Courant.

...SOB! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!


Vegas with Rukesh, January 2007. 

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Ah well.  D-day (Departure day, obvi) has now been pushed back to at least 5 August 2008 (please follow along with me using the countdown here).  I know I was/am desperate to kick this ROK as soon as possible, but I was recently offered a position as an instructor at a 2-week long English camp.  It's one big headache but it's also one big paycheck, so as always, I will bite the Korean bullet and lie back and think of New England. 

There are basically two frustrations in ma vie corenne these days: my school and my homestay.  Unfortunately, I spend approximately 80% of my time in either of these two places and therefore would classify myself as mostly unhappy.  Let's go ahead and put some numbers on this: I'm 60% unhappy, 30% happy, and 10% too exhausted/apathetic to decide if I feel one way or another.  I'll try not to dwell too much on the unhappy, as this sentiment is clearly apparent in previous entries, but briefly, my beef is with the host brother/prince. His every wish is indulged, he throws tantrums every morning, and he is as helpless as Yves (my cat, not the dead fashion designer) when it comes to general life skills--such as going to the toilet alone.

If this homestay experience has taught me anything--it has not been about Korean culture.  Through visits to various aunt's/uncle's houses and to an extent, my own life in casa Kang-Chude, I was already well acquainted with the activities and priorities of the Korean household.  What this homestay HAS taught me is that I absolutely CANNOT have children anytime in the near future.  They suck up so much time and energy, complain endlessly, and are a huge financial drain.  Who can really be bothered with all of that when you can just have a cat---who, by the age of ONE can go to the bathroom alone--to love?  Sure, there comes a time (typically once a month, coinciding with ...don't make me write it) when I become broody and moody and dream about small Jenns, playing their clarinets/cellos, making pancakes on Sunday mornings, and flying kites in Riverside Park.  However, the reality is I do not have even 20% of the patience required to mold the breed.  Tradition, discipline and rules, must be the tools. Without them, we have disorder!  Catastrophe!  Anarchy!  In short, we have a ghastly mess!

So enough on that.  I spent the last two weekends away-ish.  Two weeks ago, I went to Toby's school in Angang, which was--as had been promised by Mr. Li--a "circus".   Of course, we've all been questioning Toby's teaching abilities since Day 1, but his impact became crystal clear when a student told me he liked to "play masturbation" after school.  Quite an impressive word for a student who could not put "go" into past tense.  I later walked into Toby's "class" to witness the closing activity for the day's English class--arm wrestling. 

An undeniably popular teacher (well, with the students), Toby occasionally tells his kids to "keep it dirty".

On Thursday night, Sarata and I graced the Pohang premier of Sex and the City with our presence--only to be stupefied by the vulgarity of it all.  We averted our eyes and cried out "that's a mess" on so many occasions that I'm not sure how much of the movie I actually saw.  After, I slept over Sarata's house and we talked for hours about the usual subjects: New York, Korea, future plans, hopeless boys, and nail polish.  In the morning, her host mother grilled me about my religion and I responded with an intricate lie, in which I reported having a religion (Catholicism), going to church (in America), and reading the Bible (occasionally with a study group).  It seemed wrong to lie about this, but sometimes I'm left with no other choice here.

Later that day, Sarata and I took the party to Seoul--where we unexpectedly met up with other Fuldimmers and ventured out into da club scene.  First at Ice Bar, a cool (kkk) but touristy spot--where you sport thermal parkas and sip outrageously priced cocktails out of giant blocks of, you guessed it, ice.


I thought they should have played Omarion's "Ice Box"

Actually, soon the novelty of the place wears off and you realize that it is SO COLD, and subjecting yourself to this temperature voluntarily is CRAZ-AY.  The only option now, of course, is to dance like a foo' to keep yourself warm.






This was followed by more drinking, dancing, and general only-in-Korea behavior.  And then by 5, the music/buzz died, and Lauren and Sarata retreated to the hostel, understandably grumpy and groggy.  I, however, remained on the mean streets of Seoul, encouraged by my other friends to stay up all night so as to not sleep through my breakfast meeting at the Fuldim building.  Just like all other all-nighters, initially this seemed like a wise decision.   However, by the time it was 6 and I was attempting to sleep on metal chairs at Burger King, I was only having regrets.  Fortunately, I had the company of two dear fellows, and an additional one who initially was kind to me--but later took a verbal strike at me and told me to "stop complaining" (do I complain? noooo), to get me through the dawn hours. 

I'd like to think it was all worth it, because I indeed arrived on time to the Fuldim building.  Trembling, smelly, and wearing the same clothes I wore out in Hongdae the night before, I was good to go, but then the speeches began.  At that point, of course, I promptly fell asleep in my chair and woke up with drool dripping from my chin to receive a nasty look from the Fuldim Director.  I fought to stay awake the rest of the day, but inevitably crashed at 7pm at my worried Auntie's apartment.  

The next day I proctored a boring accounting exam and after was approached by a handful of Korean boys who attempted to push out something impressive in English for me.  One mustered up the courage to ask if I thought an American and Korean could be in a meaningful romantic relationship, and did I happen to know KAIST, because that was the University he went to for engineering.  (a very good university, he assured me, and also a good major).  And did I know that I looked like a Princess--a Princess hiding a special secret.  (The special secret, by the way, is that I'm half-Korean).  After this encounter was finished (and I told him that I didn't have a cellphone/cellphone number), I decided that I am done with Korean men.   I've tried this now a couple of times, but it always becomes strange when they start to badger me with incessant phone calls--something that is acceptable in Korea--and plead with me to send photos of myself.  So ya, done.

And finally, here are two songs that I've recently recalled from my childhood orchestras.


Benjamin Britten's Simple Symphony Mvmt. 4, Frolicsome Finale.  I love Britten because he is so verstaile--and sometimes after listening to his music, you don't even know that he is a contemporary composer.  The title of this entry, btw, "Next enters June" is from a beautiful choral work by Britten, "Succession of the Four Sweet Months," originally a poem by English poet Robert Herrick. 

Now Bach to the future:


This is the first piece I played in orchestra (at that time as a violinist!)   Though I think this group takes the Allegro at an absurd speed.

That's all from Gju this week.  Miss you all dearly.  xoxx
lurhbe, Jyenn
 

Today is Friday 30 May 2008 and the Won checks in at 1USD=1,028.8KRW.  A series of cathartic rain showers have cooled Gju, so the temperature is no longer stifling.  I always like seeing Korea in the rain.  As elsewhere in the world, the pace of street life slows and changes as the rain increases.  But there is an extra air of relief after it rains here, especially around my school and in my hamlet.  In an alleyway that I go through every day on my walk home, I like watching the ajummas emerge post-rain shower and spit out complaints about either the wet weather or the dry weather, or sometimes both.  I also like watching my cute students toting around the most adorable umbrellas--often adorned, of course, with ruffles, polka dots, and hearts, and hurrying to their destinations with funny gaits/runs so as to avoid the rain. 

One of my favorite memories of rain in Korea is from last August.  During the peak of the rainy season, the rain had briefly abated and so my co-teacher coaxed me out of the 교무실 to take a brief walk in the nearby lotus pond.  Ten minutes into our walk, the rain started again and we found ourselves umbrella-less (by the way, this is very unusual.  Koreans ALWAYS carry around umbrellas and the typical ajumma has an uncanny prescience for wet weather) and stranded.  We were expected back at school shortly, so my co-teacher bent down to the lotuses, picked off a huge leaf, and used it as a natural umbrella.  I followed in her example, and  we hurried back to school, somewhat shielded from the rain by this giant, beautiful plant.


The lotus pond next to my school.  Gju, ROK.

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Sadly, these precious moments are few and far between nowadays.  I'm not going to spend another entry bemoaning the quality of my life here--because I think has now been firmly established how much I dislike living in my Mama's land.  But recent domestic political events have made the day-to-day even more intolerable.  For those of you living outside of Korea, it may come as a surprise to learn that the last month has been filled with public unrest over American beef.  When Koreans signed Free Trade Agreement with the United States in 2006, they were initially able to block American beef (which they believed was chock full of BSE/mad cow disease, based on the death of three cows) from entering good ol' daehanminguk.  However, it was only a matter of time before a new President came to town--and with his slick Pohang accent and appealing campaign pledge of "bulldozing", he bulldozed over these reservations and promised Bushie that the Korean market would open itself once more and import American beef. 

Naturally the reaction was a complete media frenzy, followed by allegations of genocide, and a 20,000 person candlelight rally. At this rally, Koreans cried over the Government's neglect and....the future deaths of Koreans?  



Now I'm no social scientist, (oh, wait--I kind of am?) but I am a woman of somewhat reason.  Maybe not when it comes to my friendships and love life, but I think in matters political, I have my head on my cute narrow shoulders.  So shall we take it to the chorus, and also the numbers and try to dissect this crajee cow?  There are many cows in America.  An ultra-reliable source, WikiAnswers, says that 35 million are killed annually.  Since 2003, there have been three reported cases of BSE in American cows.  2008-2003=5, and 5x35,000,000=175,000,000.  So the percentage is: 3/175,000,000 or 1.714e8.  That's a lot of math for me, BUT this answer *should* be evidence to: check it Korea, don't believe the hype. 

I won't go into the many ways this upsets me as an American, a meat eater, and just a reasonable gal, but needless to say, my ears now perk up anytime someone drops a 미국 (America) or 우리 나라 (Korea/our country), because chances are, these words (particularly the former) are typically followed by something emotional and inaccurate about this whole pageant.


One of my favorite childhood songs, 송아지, about a calf, becomes an anthem for protecting Koreans from the 1.714e8 possibility that they will contract BSE.

Never did I figure myself a patriot.  Living in Europe, I would often feign an indistinguishable accent to confuse people of my nationality--and my multiracial features make it usually easy to fit in almost anywhere (and yet, not really in Korea or Poland, my Mamaland and Papaland respectively)-- so I could usually even join in on the American throw down.  YEAH!  My country gets almost nothing right.  We dropped ourselves down a 3 trillion dollar well, called the Iraq War.  We don't provide basic, necessary services for our citizens.  We have no national culture really--no cuisine, no traditional clothing, etc.  instead Americans find themselves driven by an unhealthy obsession with materialism and money.  And oh, of course, the public servants are  unimpressive and kinda dopey.  Yet, after coming here and experiencing this, I cannot help but to stand up for my country and my cow and to announce to everyone, YES! I eat American beef!  It is delicious!  It is BSE-free!  And it will be MUCH cheaper (sorry Korean farmers, ㅠㅠ) 


The most delicious steak of my life.  A medium rare Filet Mignon at Wildfire in Chicago.  January 2007.  AMERICAN BORN AND BRED, FOOLS!!!!!

My Korean family and friends are on board with the hype, but they suspect that all the frenzy will die down in a few months.  Die, just like the chickens with Avian Bird Flu that are already LIVING in Korea!  And yet! Where are the rallies on that issue?  Okay, I know the beef thing is just an excuse for other political unrest, but please Koreans, give beef a chance. 

As for the less meaty news:  in an act of defiance, my stomach has shut down on digesting milk and I will now be dairy-free for the remainder of my stay (7 WEEKS MOTHER TRUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!)  This shouldn't be a problem in Korea, as few foods have dairy.  BUT it does make me sad that I will be missing out on all of the amazing Korean ice cream!  and the occasional pizza dates with friends and students!  and the coffee with milk!  and the yogurt!  and all the macaroni and cheese that various kind friends have sent me.  Waaaaaaaaah.  I'm a cat!  I need my milk!

In other news, I spent last weekend in Busan with cute Hye Min and cousins.  After a night singing at the local 노래방, Hye Min and I stayed awake talking into the early morning about how ridiculous people are on both sides of the Pacific.  The next morning, I got an awful haircut that is now hidden with multiple bobby pins on the top of my head and Hye Min put her hair in a perm-ah.  We used the rest of the day for shopping around Seomyun, eating tofu, and gossiping about family members.  I was sad to leave her.  As I sit in my room now, listening to my host brother throw a baseball against a glass screen door, and I yearn for shit chat time with cute and smart Hye Min.  She has now lived in the U.S. for two years, and I feel she really gets it/me.

School is an assortment of ups and downs.  The ups are my students and the downs are basically everything else.  I started telling my students that I was leaving (they didn't know), and every time I give the speech, I see students' faces drop and I cannot help but to choke up.  They are sad to learn that I don't love my life here--because they love me, I love them, therefore love should reign and cows and chickens hold hands.  But I feel close enough to them now, and I want them to know the REAL ME.  Like that episode of Sex & the City (I don't care about all the hater reviews, the movie probably sucks, but I'm seeing it when it comes out in Korea--5 JUNE!!!), I may have tripped on the runway called Korea, but real people fall down and when it's all over, you can strut around in your jeweled underwear and high-five Heidi Klum in NEW YORK.

Tomorrow I am going to Toby's school in Angang to teach his monsters.  Urgh middle school boys.  Urgh boys.  And next weekend will be a trip to Seoul followed by yet another weekend English camp, and then my Mama comes to Korea!!!  I can't wait! ^^ I want her to cuss out all those who have wronged me.

So that's all for now my pets.  As always, thanks for reading and lots of lurf from Gju.

xoxx  Jeenhe